August 19, 2007 was the death of Felicidad Gabriana Villanueva Danan of Calasiao, Pangasinan, Philippines at Calgary, Alberta. Last Saturday marks 10 years since I stood at the foot of her bed at Chinook hospice and watched my loving Nanay take her last breath from our world to meet Tatay, Lola Diony & Tito Vic. Learning about the patriarchy was a curveball for me because I grew up cared for by amazing women - my mom, Nanay, Tita Linda & Ate Anne Claire. Tatay & Tito Jun were there too, but for me, I was growing up in a matriarchy. I didn't always love it, we faced lots of communication challenges and I often struggled with notions of the nuclear family, especially around father's day. Nanay was my other parent when my mom was working 3 jobs at a time for us to make ends meet. She would have merienda waiting for me after school and let me play with her beautiful jewelry. We watched the Price is Right and never missed an episode of Young & The Restless. I still wonder how the Newman family and Jabot cosmetic line is doing, just because I think about how I could share that with Nanay.
In honour of Nanay's 10th death anniversary, I started the process of officially changing my name to honour the women that raised me; the matriarchy that sacrificed and worked harder than I could imagine to give me the chance at this amazing life I have now. I want to honour their stories and their bravery. I know it'll probably be an administrative nightmare but this feels so right.
Filling out my forms to change my name, I fill in "Villanueva" as an additional middle name. This is my Nanay's maiden name. While it is distinctly a name from our colonizers with a colonial weight, it also means "new village." To me, this means that my chosen family and the community that nourishes my soul is the new village that feeds me energy and inspiration. I hope that I can continue to surround myself with this much brilliance & brown beauty
As I continue to learn how to decolonize my body, mind and soul, I reflect on the resilience of my ancestors who survived centuries of violent colonialism and imperialism. I am only here today because I am a descendent of strong women. I will find a way to tell their stories and keep their spirits alive.
Watch out world, a serious business name change is coming your way.
In honour of Nanay's 10th death anniversary, I started the process of officially changing my name to honour the women that raised me; the matriarchy that sacrificed and worked harder than I could imagine to give me the chance at this amazing life I have now. I want to honour their stories and their bravery. I know it'll probably be an administrative nightmare but this feels so right.
Filling out my forms to change my name, I fill in "Villanueva" as an additional middle name. This is my Nanay's maiden name. While it is distinctly a name from our colonizers with a colonial weight, it also means "new village." To me, this means that my chosen family and the community that nourishes my soul is the new village that feeds me energy and inspiration. I hope that I can continue to surround myself with this much brilliance & brown beauty
As I continue to learn how to decolonize my body, mind and soul, I reflect on the resilience of my ancestors who survived centuries of violent colonialism and imperialism. I am only here today because I am a descendent of strong women. I will find a way to tell their stories and keep their spirits alive.
Watch out world, a serious business name change is coming your way.